Not all rainbows and apartment keys...

By Colleen Sinsky

Most of what I get to do at JOIN is uplifting or fun or at least a new challenge- but occasionally it’s just plain depressing. (And no one told me to just blog about happy things.) Quick excerpt from my morning spent with one of our challenging fellows that exemplifies the emotions that I believe a lot of our folks are going through. I was frustrated that this guy who I’m trying to work with who was ..yet again.. drunk. We talked for a while and eventually accomplished what we were trying to get done today, after which my friend said “I’m sorry I’m so loaded, it’s just that if I’m not loaded I feel like killing myself, so I don’t have much of a choice. You don't understand.”

I can't think of anything to say to close this one out. He's right, I don't understand.

The JOIN Way

By Colleen Sinsky

Many conversations in the office make some allusion to the nebulous “JOIN Way.” It’s a sort of undefinable set of principles that guides the work we do. I’m new, and underqualified to try to explain what exactly the JOIN Way is, but it’s a beautiful thing to get to experience. It both encompasses, and goes beyond our mission and values statement and reaches towards a holistic understanding of how, and why we do what we do. Even when we’re overwhelmed by audits, communication frustrations, funding limitations and the sheer volume of individuals experiencing homelessness in Portland, the JOIN Way exists like a guiding spirituality to carry on the mission. The shared humanity we foster in each relationship is the product of nearly two decades of dedication by volunteers, donors, the board, the outreach, retention and admin staff, and our folks who have allowed us into their lives.

I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan, but I googled a definition of “The Force” feeling like there’s some comparison to be made between the mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi and Lio, who’s spent the last year teaching me the ways of JOIN. According to Wookiepedia (The Star Wars wiki. No joke.) the light side of the Force is defined as being "aligned with compassion, selflessness, self-knowledge and healing, mercy and benevolence." Sounds familiar! Lio just left for a well-deserved sabbatical, leaving the rest of the office scrambling around to stay on top of his gigantic caseload. Earlier this week he and I went out to our favorite pizza place for lunch and I voiced how worried I was about him being gone, and about the possibility of me having to have a say in whether or not to continue with financial assistance for some of his folks. Maybe it’s my background in economics or having worked briefly for another large non-profit, but I find myself often wanting to take a more conservative approach to continuing financial support. Lio’s smiling Samoan answer was the perfect understanding of the JOIN Way: “Just remember compassion towards the person in front if you and you can never do wrong.”

Year Two...

By Colleen Sinsky

I think I’m somewhere around my one year anniversary of working at JOIN. I’m just starting to experience annual events for the second time, and it’s all starting to feel a bit more like a comfortable- and of course chaotic- pattern. I transitioned last month from my full-time volunteer position being supported by the Jesuit Volunteer Corps Northwest to the United Church of Christ, but my “Outreach Assistant” position at JOIN stays the same. It’s hard to convey how fortunate I feel to get to spend two years at such a wonderful organization that has let me learn so much about the world of homelessness and about myself. I’m not sure that I’ve gone public with this confession yet, but until I started at JOIN I was pretty wary of those homeless people. I had very little experience relating with people who lived so different from myself, and I probably put more stock into stereotypes than I should. Obviously, my worldview has been rocked by the past 12 months and I’ve had the opportunity to totally revamp how I thought about and related to urban poverty. I’m excited to see where the next year takes me. I know that I’m going into this alongside the incredibly supportive and fun JOIN staff and I’m confident that we’re all going good places together. Here we go, year two!!

My Year at JOIN

By Lindsay Rundquist

I have been putting off writing this post, as the topic is encompassed perfectly in the cliché “words cannot describe”. We’ll start with JOIN as a culture. The individuals on staff here are some of the most compassionate, accepting, hilarious, FUN people I’ve ever met. You would be hard pressed to find another more unique group of human beings who are so good at what they do.

JOIN’s philosophy is “we don’t have all the answers”, which is a tough find in the social work world. Every day at JOIN was a matter of reflection—and a lot of the time you’re wrong! This is what makes it beautiful though—all of us are trying to figure life out, whether we’re on the streets or in a position of “authority”. We’re humans working with humans.

In that, there was obviously a lot of conflict to deal with on a daily basis. In a way, I liked getting my hands a little dirty and trying to work through these conflicts because it’s real. People come in to the day space and their daily—their minute to minute stressors from the street, explode over the peanut butter jar. And so really, we can intervene and maybe stop a fist fight from occurring in that moment, but there is little or no affective intervention on the street.

One of my most profound moments occurred very early on, when I had several extra tickets to the symphony. Daniel(JOIN’s Immersion Coordinator) and I offered the tickets to a few of our folks. When we walked to our seats that night we saw “James” already sitting down, reading the program. We hadn’t really expected him to come, but certainly hoped he would! It was the Oregon Symphony’s Christmas show, and during the final number I looked over to see James’ eyes watering, and a “smile the size of Texas” on his face(as one of our old time regulars would sayJ). As we were walking out amidst the ridiculous display of wealth and class, I asked James if he had enjoyed the show(as frankly, I had found a few of the pieces amazingly boring). He began to cry, said it was wonderful, gave us hugs, and jetted out the side door.

I realized then that I had invited him to a nice, warm musical evening, and then sent him back into the winter streets to sleep. This was a tough thing to grapple with, as I’ve grown up going to the symphony and not thinking twice about it. Now when I travel downtown for a show, that experience with James is very much present. Doing outreach with Quinn and Lio in that area also has caused me to take a look around when I’m heading to a bar on Saturday night, and that amazing view of downtown from the Marquam Bridge holds different meaning. I learned later that the other individual I invited to the symphony showed up outside the Shnitz, saw the crowd, was keenly aware of his homeless status, and left.

The thing I will remember most about JOIN though, is how much I laughed—how much fun I had. Through the chaos, emotionality, and authority I often had to exert, I just had a good time! Some pretty outrageous things happened in the day space, and it wasn’t hard to keep a sense of humor about it all.

The friendships I formed at JOIN, both with staff and our folks, will be with me the rest of my life, along with the wealth of knowledge I gained from this invaluable experience. JOIN has certainly rocked my views of social work, relationships, and how I view life, so the transition from here will be a little rocky! But in the best way possible. Thanks JOIN! I love you! :)

Sonia

This will be a quick post..promise. I just had to share a brief moment from my day that just happened a moment ago here at the JOIN office. I had to fill out a quick intake form with a new household we’re housing. The woman, “Sonia,” whom I met for the first time today is in her upper sixties and has really been struggling with sleeping on the sidewalks around St. Francis. She has a family member who’s been her camping partner and protector while they’ve been outside, and the two have endured a lot together. Sonia broke down while talking about the thoughts that she’s been having about her self-worth as a woman experiencing homelessness. She said that she spent nights afraid, and wondering if it was worth living. She carries a knife in her purse, but hates the thought of having to use it, even to defend herself against an attacker. Sonia doesn’t have many possessions- just blankets mainly, but it’s too heavy to carry and she said that more than once she’s broken down in tears, unable to carry the load from one camping spot to another. Sonia said all of this conversationally, in a straightforward tone. She abhors pity and wasn’t trying to play a sympathy card to get housing help. Her reality has become a daily exercise in survival, and at her age, it kills me to hear about someone like her experiencing the difficulties of homelessness.

Fortunately this story has a happy ending. As soon as I post this blog, I’m heading out to the management company to drop off checks to cover their move-in costs, and Sonia will be moving into a quiet apartment tomorrow morning. When she left the office just now, Sonia gave me a hug and I asked if she’d be able to hang on for one more night outside. “Oh yeah, I can hack that. I’m going indoors tomorrow!”

"Love Is Building Bridges, Not Walls"

By Colleen Sinsky

This past week I had the opportunity to be part of a delegation of high school students who chose to leave their more comfortable lives to spend seven days on an immersion trip with the goal of building bridges between themselves and the homeless community of Portland. Sponsored by JOIN, the Portland Plunge has been an annual summer experience for Oregon teens for the past 20 years.

JOIN’s Immersion Coordinator, Daniel, spent months organizing volunteer placements, reviewing applications and coordinating logistics. He and six young adult volunteers (myself, Amanda, Sinclair, Kelly, Jess and Neil) joined the teens in sleeping at St Francis, in inner SE, walking to daily volunteer placements, and abiding by a set of “simple living” guidelines that the whole group decided on.

“Simple living” we decided for the week, would mean challenging ourselves by limiting what we wore to just two outfits, showering once or not at all, eating simply, and a “sleep challenge” on the last night we spent at St. Francis. Originally this last challenge meant giving up a pillow or sleeping pad, but the leaders secretly decided to include a “sweep” at 2:30am. Without warning, we came into the boys’ and girls’ sleeping rooms with flashlights and even a siren yelling “No camping here! move along! you’re in violation of Oregon code yadda yadda yadda…” We prodded the poor bleary eyed, and rightfully pissed-off teens down the hall to switch rooms and let them continue Thursday’s “sleep challenge” until 6:30 when it was time for a quick breakfast and a neighborhood clean up and BBQ with the Volunteers of America Mens Rehabilitation Center. While the “sweep” sounds a bit sadistic at first, the valuable lesson was an experience in what occurs regularly to homeless folks, when made to “move along” from a doorway or illegal camping spot in the middle of the night.

The Plungers also got to volunteer at 15 organizations around town that serve not just the homeless community, but other marginalized groups. Some examples of where we spent a morning or afternoon working are Downtown Chapel, Dignity Village, Rose Haven, Housing Transitions Program, the Oregon Food Bank, Sisters of the Road Café, and even sorting donations, gardening and hanging out with folks at JOIN. The week was a whirlwind tour of many aspects of homelessness, and we had evening speakers who shared their perspective of working for the Portland Police Department, or p;ear, or JOIN.

Lio came to debrief the large group after their first day of placements. His talk prodded everyone to think about the larger picture of their place in service and solidarity. He shared stories from his 14 years of doing Outreach at JOIN, and challenged the group to learn names, the stories behind the faces, and not to be afraid of making a human connection with people who we’re usually more comfortable avoiding eye contact with. We also got to hear from Marc Jolin who talked about the legal and practical side of homelessness and lack of affordable housing. In discussion afterwards, my small group (named “Jesus! And the Jive Turkeys”) talked about how important it is to have the “big picture” numbers in addition to conversations with folks on the street.

We all came into the Plunge from different places, but we were all challenged and grew together. I heard so many amazing insights come out of my teens, one of which came after a few days of volunteering in Old Town. “I can’t believe that I always go to concerts and restaurants around there, but I had no idea that any of this was here. Like the Red Doors? [Downtown Chapel]? I’ve seen that a million times and never known what it was.” This week was about opening the door to shift our perspective, and see new things in our community. All of us involved in the Plunge laughed a lot, made or cemented friendships with each other, and learned valuable lessons from folks affected by homelessness. I was moved, and continue to be touched by how open everyone, and especially my small group was. I learned that we are all hungry for a human connection, and that experiences like the Plunge really can take us out of our comfort zone and into that place where love can transcend social barriers.

Thank you participants! You all rock. See you at the reunion! Feel free to weigh in here with any memories or comments you want to share!

Getting a tour of "the caves" from a longtime JOIN friend, Buck, who once camped down here.

"Even Jerks Deserve Housing"

By Colleen Sinsky

I was remembering back to one of my first days at JOIN, while I was tagging along with Quinn, one of our outreach workers. We were stopping in to visit one of the guys Quinn had housed recently. Now, the vast majority of our folks are some of the most wonderful, friendly and sweet people I’ve had the privilege of meeting. Working with them is a joy, and I love spending time and talking with almost everyone. This guy though, was not a joy. His apartment was a minefield of empty Steel Reserves, and our friend was cranky, belligerent, and dismissive of the food box we had brought. The brief visit felt like it bordered on hostility towards us and I was relieved to escape into the fresh air.

Walking back to the car, I asked Quinn something along the lines of “How do you work with that guy? He’s such an ungrateful jerk!” And Quinn’s simple answer has stuck with me, and reminds me that we aren’t doing this work for our own gratification. “Even jerks deserve housing.”

So we house jerks and saints and everyone in between. Even in the most hardened, long-time homeless alcoholics I’ve seen incredible moments of human vulnerability and warmth, and we keep plodding along every day beside them because we all deserve housing.

On a more fun note, everyone in the office is excitedly getting ready for the golf tournament tomorrow! We’re excited to see our supporters out there having fun on the green and raising money for a great cause.

Tomorrow is also the beginning of our 30^th annual Portland Plunge, where 25 high school students from the Portland and surrounding areas will come for a week of immersion into the world of homelessness. I’m going to be one of five small group leaders on the Plunge and am feeling both excited and nervous about spending the next week away from my home and my usual job at JOIN. When I return, next week’s blog post will be about our experience on the Plunge. Stay tuned!