Stranger In The Night

By Colleen Sinsky


At times I can’t decide if the ability to draw a strict delineation between “work” and “life” is an ability I would want to have.  At the risk of this being a “TMI” post, Friday night for me was a glaring example of how the work I’ve done at JOIN has had a major influence on me, whether or not it’s during work hours.  I was walking down my street laughing with a roommate, on our way home from a bar sometime in the am hours.  I don’t think it was raining, but it was cold enough that I was walking fast, looking forward to a space heater and a down comforter.  Passing some trendy brunch spot, we walked past an older woman kneeling next to a full shopping cart who was literally praying the Our Father out loud, oblivious to pedestrians.

The contrast between our lives in that moment hit me in the gut like an avalanche of every emotion that I prefer to keep buried.  I burst into tears a few steps later feeling these waves of guilt, hopelessness and rampant injustice.  I think that when I’m at JOIN, or out visiting my folks I’m operating in a mental mode conditioned to experience this type of scene, but something about seeing something this intimate, this heartbreaking, on my street broke down some walls that I’d put up without realizing it.

At home, my roommate (who is an Outreach Worker at a wonderful organization similar to JOIN called HomePlate) and I shared a conversation about our role as service providers in the midst of overwhelming need.  I realized that I’m not jaded or experienced enough to be able to walk by something like that without having an emotional reaction, and I don’t think that I would ever aspire to be able to turn off that reaction.  I’m realizing that I’ve internalized enough vicarious trauma that sometimes seeing heartbreaking tragedies like the shootings in Clackamas and Sandy Hook  Elementary in conjunction with the daily tragedy of homelessness can be almost too much. My role in all of this can feel so insignificant and at times like these it’s easy to feel powerless and pessimistic.

I don’t think I’ll ever have an answer to these big heavy questions from a macro perspective, but the truth is that my role in the world is in a much smaller reality. Zooming in to a more manageable and realistic view- my Portland community, the long and disorganized list of “My Folks” at JOIN, and strangers in need who I happen to meet- the oppression of large-scale pessimism lifts.  I’m reminded of that parable about throwing the starfish back out to sea, which I always thought was so corny.  My reality as a service provider though is that I’m granted some freedom by my limitations.  I do have the ability to make a huge positive difference in the lives of some people, and that’s what I’m going to have to focus on.

Feeling renewed, I went downstairs and got one of the donated sleeping bags I have in my basement and went back outside, without a clear goal but hoping to at least wish her a good night.  But by the time I got back there she’d moved along into the night.  Oh well. Back at home, my roommate pointed out that what actually matters is the fact that I had cared enough to go back outside and try.  He’s probably right- perhaps it is just having that willingness to risk reaching out that will help foster a brighter world.

Am I Lucky or What?

By Colleen Sinsky

One recent evening I got to take two of my favorite kiddos from JOIN out to try MY favorite hobby.. climbing!  They had so much fun, and made it to the top over and over again, even after declaring they were too afraid of heights to even try it.  They gym employees and I were impressed at how they didn't want to quit climbing even after three hours at it!  We all had a great time, and I feel so lucky to get to share my passion in this informal, fun way.  :)

You might recognize these kids from last year's Christmas blog post, and I'm happy to report that this wonderful family is still doing really well in housing and looking forward to this year's holiday season!

A Humbling Experience

by Charlie Theuma, JOIN Board Member

My son Brian (13) and I spent Monday night until 10:30 p.m. going around town with Quinn and seeing what it was like dealing with the homeless in Portland.


Quinn is an amazing individual who shows the utmost respect to people, has a sincere interest in people's problems and is always searching for a solution to whatever challenge is faced.

It was humbling to see what a little effort and time can produce. Both Brian and I see the world just a little differently.

We went to so many places downtown, too many to mention. The van was equipped with blankets, tarps and a few sleeping bags as an opening to conversation.

We visited a group of homeless people who had camped out in a specific block and had to inform them that the Police would be doing a sweep in the morning and they had to find another place to call home. Instead of leaving it at that, Quinn inquired as to where they planned on going, if they needed anything and arranged to offer transportation assistance in the morning so that the challenge wouldn't be so difficult. What Quinn received in return was respect and a big thank you.

Brian and I helped two 15 year old kids on the street and provided them with sleeping bags, blankets and a few tarps. Almost broke my heart seeing them trying to sleep in the doorway of a business building knowing that they were only 2 years older than my son.

For all the times that life seems tough, for the variety of requests we get asked as a Board member, I would like to tell you that it is worth every ounce of energy we give and every dollar we provide.

My wife Amy helped organize an event at US Bank that provided us with about 4,000 pairs of socks. Those socks allowed the staff to help our homeless friends for almost a year. It was a simple request of employees to bring new socks with them to a scheduled event that US Bank was executing and telling employees a little bit about JOIN.

Never did I think that basic things like a blanket, socks or tarps can make the difference in a life. Trust me it does.

What I will take away from that evening is that people are nice people. Not once did we encounter anyone who was rude or unappreciative. The homeless have their challenges, but don't use that as an excuse, they just try to survive the best way they can and appreciate any help along the way.

Thanksgiving and Christmas is a time where people realize that it's the giving time. My son and I saw first hand what blankets, socks, sleeping bags, books and tarps can do to change someone's life.
Whether we are organizing a giving page, talking to friends for financial support or asking friends to look in their closets for blankets or books, it all does wonders to many who we never get to know.

Thanks for allowing me a few moments to share.

Hope for Housing Assistance

By Colleen Sinsky

To tell you the truth, when doing this kind of work against homelessness, I usually find it easier to keep my nose to the grindstone and maintain a pretty “zoomed-in” perspective of the housing crisis.  As an individual, I can see positive, tangible results with the individuals I’m working with that day.  If someone needs a ride to urgent care, a supportive presence during an operation, and a chocolate shake afterwards, it’s easy to do that.  Easy to do the manual labor required to move a load of furniture into a once empty apartment or organize a community bbq and kickball party. 

What’s harder for me is trying to wrap my head around the endless need and limited resources on the state or national level.  Daily tasks might be difficult, frustrating or even heartbreaking- but never overwhelmingly hopeless.  Earlier this week I read an article on the Huffington Post called "Sheltering America’s Children".  According to writer Barbara Sard and the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, the number of desperately poor households, who live on $2 per person per day or less has increased 130% since 1996.  I’m absolutely floored that this statistic is true in the United States, and that that level of extreme poverty is the daily reality for 1,500,000 households. Even more shocking is that just one in five of these households is receiving housing assistance due to limited funding. 

The demand for housing assistance is so high that families in the District of Columbia now applying for Section 8 assistance are put on a twenty year waitlist.  You read that right.  A twenty year waitlist for housing would be a joke if it wasn’t so tragic.  And Multnomah County isn’t any better.  Instead of a ridiculously long waitlist like DC, our Section 8 waitlist was closed years and years ago.  When it was last opened in 2006 nearly 10,000 applications were received in the two-week window.  The good news is that the waitlist is opening again for ten days beginning November 1^st.  Obviously this is a big deal for everyone at JOIN, and we’re all gearing up to submit applications with a huge portion of the folks we work with who are struggling with high market rent rates. 

Even when demand far outstrips available assistance, at least there’s a glimmer of hope when your name is one of tens of thousands on a lottery-style waitlist.

The Power of Relationships

By Colleen Sinsky

A few nights ago, Quinn and I attended an event that really brought home the importance of our relationship-based model.  A woman who we’ve both worked with, whom Quinn has known for over six years just celebrated her one year of sobriety.  “Melissa” had used hard drugs since she was a young teenager and is one of the toughest, most-street savvy survivors I’ve met.  Her story of addiction is powerful and heartbreaking, and now difficult to imagine having once been the reality of the smiling, confident woman who spoke before a large audience last week.  

It’s an incredible honor to get to be present to Melissa’s struggle and triumph.  Sharing an authentic relationship that spans years is such a wonderfully honest and effective way of bridging divides between people.  We’ve gotten to play a supportive role in more than just a snapshot of someone’s life and instead be present throughout an evolving transformation.  It’s difficult to convey the joy and pride that Quinn and I feel walking alongside Melissa, and how fortunate we are to be part of hers, and so many other individuals’ lives. Thank you Melissa!!


Check out my blog post from 9 months ago where I wrote about what it was like to clean out Melissa's old apartment and together shut the door on her old lifestyle.

Write Around Portland Empowers Angie

By Colleen Sinsky

“From all that I learned from abuse, I was told I was ugly, I was slow, I was being controlled, my self-esteem went down and down. I started feeling all those negative things so I walked around with no teeth in my mouth, not because I wanted to but because of being penniless. But I have no shame because I’m worth more than a penny. If I lived those negative words then I have lived them, but I learned I’m much more than that.”
© 2012 Angela McGee & Write Around Portland

When I knocked on Angie’s door for a visit this afternoon I was happily surprised to see her absolutely beaming, brimming with good news to share.  After enduring a lifetime of physical and verbal abuse, Angie is usually soft-spoken and subdued.  She’s an incredibly resilient woman who has had the courage to leave negative relationships and advocate for herself and her four children.  Her family has only recently moved to Portland and in the past several months have worked hard to create a safe and positive environment to start over together. She is working with JOIN's newest Outreach Worker (Ledena), and JOIN's newest Retention Worker (yours truly).  Today, Angie felt on top of the world.

Angie has also been engaged with a really wonderful local organization, Write Around Portland, which empowers participants through creative writing workshops that foster community, personal growth and healing through expression and group engagement.  Write Around Portland has been a community partner of JOIN, and I’ve been repeatedly blown away by the wonderful writing that our folks who have gone through workshops have shared with me.  Just as important are the stories that participants share with me about being part of a community, having a caring and engaged audience and having a safe forum to express and work through past issues of trauma.

My friend Angie is currently Write Around Portland’s featured writer.  In my car this afternoon, we used my cell phone to navigate to their website, where Angie’s photo, published story and interview are prominently displayed.  I (of course) was teary-eyed with pride and getting to see Angie so happy.  She told me how nerve-wracking it was getting up to read her story “In My Shoes” at Write Around’s anthology release reading.  The audience gave her a standing ovation and several people approached her afterwards to thank her and tell her how her story had moved them.  “I could feel healing!” Angie said.  “One lady was even crying.  I want my writing to be able to have that effect on people.”

JOINing the Team

By: Jamal Glover

Where do I even begin? Honestly, this is my first blog ever and the first of many that Sydney Linden is forcing me to write (joking). So please bare with me because I don't know where to begin. I'm the newest kid on the block here at JOIN and I began my one year internship as an outreach assistant through the United Church of Christ July 3. I am now going on my second month here at JOIN and it is safe to say that I'm finally settled into my new role as Lio's outreach assistant, I mean as the outreach assistant. I really appreciate all of the staff support I have had so far, its been very helpful because here at JOIN their is no such thing as a training so I had to be very attentive when I was job shadowing the previous outreach assistant. I'm glad that Colleen Sinsky was a lot of help with the "training" process, if she weren't any kind of help then I would have written this whole blog post about Colleen. I would like to share a few stories I already have from my short time being here but until I am able to gather my thoughts (I filled in for Lio for a week and just now becoming sane again), those stories will be shared in the future blogs to come. I would be embarrassed if this were my intro blog (actually it is) so we'll just call it a snippet.