JOIN Lore

By Colleen Sinsky

The culture I’ve grown up in relies almost entirely on the written word for communication. E-mail, annual reports, Twitter, Power Point and case files are tools of a world that has forgotten oral tradition. Most of the information I’ve digested throughout my education was read off of a screen or page. I don’t believe this is a bad thing, but there is some magic to storytelling that has been lost somewhere along the way. In this way, JOIN is countercultural in the value we place on storytelling.

Friday afternoons long been the space to connect outside the office, to talk informally about what’s going on in our work and personal lives. When the House closes, staff migrates to a local restaurant and closes out the week with a laid back experience of just spending time together, often passing on stories of “old JOIN” and what it was like in the office on 17^th street or at St. Francis. Hearing long-time employees tell stories from the olden days of JOIN is invaluable to people like me who are new to staff. We keep JOIN’s roots relevant by having a space for passing along our stories- some funny, some terrifying, an occasional legendary disaster, and all making me proud to play a role in this tradition. Better than any binder of “employee information,” learning from these organic gatherings has taught me so much about JOIN’s philosophy and how to do the work. We learn from each other’s experiences and have a safe place to vent or to solicit advice. Hearing Mike laugh about a minor crisis ten years ago puts whatever I’m dealing with this week into perspective. In the past 20 years JOIN has grown and changed and survived a huge array of hurdles. We keep those years, and the people who made them memorable, alive in our collective memory.

JOIN’s organizational culture revitalizes face to face communication. Everything from how we prioritize monthly retreats, to how our downstairs office space is designed, to the almost total lack of email communication between staff members is geared towards promoting conversation. JOIN is so fortunate to have had the influence of Lio’s Samoan culture that, for thousands of years, has had a rich history of oral tradition and verbal communication. From my desk, I can hear Lio begin meetings with our folks, “So, tell me what is going on.” He creates space for a conversation, not an interview to fill in the blanks on an intake sheet. From the big blue armchair, our folks are asked to tell their story. This is the foundation of building a relationship, and storytelling the first step towards empowerment.

Cleaning Out

By Colleen Sinsky

I’ve been meaning to do a “day in the life of the Outreach Assistant” blog post. To be honest, I was going to wait for a day with a long list of exciting activities to report on, but I realized that even today’s ordinary morning merits a reflection.

I met Quinn at the office just a little past our 8:45 meeting time. While the coffee brewed in Cafe Join, we chatted with Joe and Jose about last night’s dreams and weekend plans. Procrastination over, Quinn and I grabbed gloves and heavy duty trashbags and headed out for an apartment clean out.

(I should mention here that an “apartment clean out” is about as fun as it sounds. Not every time, but sometimes, when someone whom we’ve housed gets evicted or moves out, the responsibility to clear the unit falls to us. The state of the apartment when we get there ranges widely... but it’s almost always a half-day job I’d never wish upon anyone.)

Quinn and I arrived at the apartment, which had been home for a few squatters since our person moved out. “Melissa,” whom Quinn has known for years chose to enter in-patient treatment and has been meth-free for nearly three months. We’re extremely proud of how well she’s doing, and happy to help her tie up loose ends, like her old studio apartment.

Happy to help, yes. But that doesn’t make dealing with endless piles of junk much easier. It’s difficult to describe what inhabits an apartment like this if you haven’t seen one. Melissa’s was far from the worst I’ve seen, but imagine several trashbags full of dirty laundry, broken electronics, old pictures, a deflated air mattress, some sad stuffed animals, dirty dishes, a fridge of putrid food, blankets, a deflated bike tire, tools, etc. (“etc” in the most literal sense). It’s overwhelming. We salvaged and recycled what we could, but overall the process of clearing an apartment feels wasteful and depressing. Melissa was a huge help and worked alongside us tirelessly, taking loads to the compactor downstairs and cleaning the bathroom.

Used syringes are something I’m always cautious of, and Quinn and I quickly realized that today we had to move slowly and be extremely careful of old “rigs” and razors forgotten in the piles of stuff. In a makeshift “sharps” container, we collected a dozen or so artifacts from Melissa’s previous life as a meth addict.

It felt good to lock the door to the now empty studio and leave with Melissa for the last time. Yes, JOIN allows people to open doors, but just as important is providing the support for closing the door against destructive lifestyles.

Last Minute Christmas at JOIN

By Colleen Sinsky

Happy Holidays JOIN friends!

This morning I saw an email from our Executive Director Marc Jolin- who’s going to be very embarrassed for me writing this. Marc, at 6:30am sounded chipper and upbeat, letting the staff and board know that JOIN would be open for families today- Christmas Day.

Because of some scheduling conflict, the space that homeless families had been planning on spending their Christmas afternoon and evening had to close- leaving them all without a warm place today. In his email, Marc welcomed the company if anyone wanted to stop by this evening- but was mostly after those leftover holiday treats so many of us have lying around so he could put them out for the kids.

What a simple, yet profound gesture; changing personal Christmas plans at the last minute to create a safe and warm place for a few homeless families. This is what service is about. This is why we do immersions, and why we choose to emphasize solidarity and relationships over statistical measures of success. This, (shamelessly quoting myself in another recent blog post) is the JOIN Way, and this is the epitome of the organization that I am so fortunate to volunteer for.

I’m saving Marc's email forever- as yet another small reminder of how truly wonderful an organization can be when soulful and selfless people are at the helm. I’m proud of JOIN for bucking some traditional social service rules and having the flexibility to do something as counter cultural yet human as suddenly

deciding to be open on Christmas.

Earlier this week I went out to East County to deliver some Holiday food boxes donated by our friends at TAZO. I visited one of our families who was homeless until last month. Knowing where they came from, it's impossible for me to get into words how happy it makes me to get to see them with their Christmas tree and presents. And when I'm trying to not break into "proud-of-you" tears in front of the kids.. sometimes it's easier to make this face when they're playing with my camera in their living room:

(this is me.)

So thanks for reading and Happy Holidays to all of our friends and supporters wherever you are. This season, hug your family extra tight and tell those you love that you do. We're all in this wonderful chaos together.

In loving memory of Jessica Chyrek.

Winter Weather on the Streets

By Colleen Sinsky

For the past week, temperatures in Portland have been dipping below freezing each night. Being from Southern California, scraping ice off my windshield in the morning is a pretty exciting battle against Mother Nature, and about as close as I’d prefer to get to the elements at this time of year. This morning as I walked from my car to the JOIN office I passed by a group of our homeless folks huddled outside waiting for our day space to open at 10am. Not that I’m living in luxury as a full-time volunteer, but that stark contrast between our lives continues to blindside me.

While writing this I took a break to catch up with “Adrian” who until recently camped in a beautiful forested area overlooking downtown Portland. When I visited his camp it was summer, and I was amazed at what a secluded and well-kept camp he kept. Talking about winter there though, he said “It just sucks. I had to use about four sleeping bags and a bunch of quilts to be able to sleep. As soon as I woke up, I’d high-tail it to a warm bus.” Adrian got his sleeping bags from organizations around town, including JOIN who receive donations of warm gear to pass out during winter. Lately, Quinn and Lio and I have taken the van out downtown to give sleeping bags and blankets to people sleeping on “the 2 C’s- Cardboard and Concrete” during these chilly nights. Adrian is now living in an apartment and is really appreciating being indoors this winter, but we could always use donations of warm blankets and sleeping bags for the many people still sleeping outside.

Cold temperatures make the experience of living outside exponentially more uncomfortable, and at times dangerous. According to a 2008 survey by Portland’s Bureau of Housing and Community Development, the Vulnerability Index, 14% of homeless individuals in Portland had medical issues related to cold exposure. During severe winter weather, the county opens emergency warming shelters operated by the Red Cross that will accept anyone (and pets) for the night. According to 211info “The criteria used to determine a Severe Weather Alert and the corresponding opening of Red Cross emergency warming centers is: A low temperature predicted at or below 22° F, or three or more nights predicted at or below 25° F.” I imagine I’d still be pretty uncomfortable spending hours on end outside in weather outside of this when the usual warming shelters are full.

We’re all lucky right now that at least this unusually cold snap is a dry one. Unfortunately this won’t be the case all winter, and it won’t be long before we’re dealing with ice storms and snow- when tarps become a lifesaving resource on the streets.

This Year's First Immersion

I just had my first immersion. I hosted a group from Newberg, Oregon called GodSong Church. The group was great and super fun. They brought their own icebreakers for us to all do together! I was impressed by how open the kids were to letting the immersion affect them. And they were really into the things I said. I was an expert in their eyes; I am not used to that since I feel like there is still so much I don’t know about the city and all the services it has to offer. In all, the immersion consisted of 13 people, 1-middle schooler, 8-high schoolers, and 4 leaders.

I arrived at JOIN with Carolyn, the house coordinator. She decided to come on my first immersion with me because she also felt a need to learn more about the social support in Portland.

7:00pm rolled around and GodSong Church arrived a little early for the immersion. They came in and unpacked their gear while I finished printing the last of the journals. The first thing they asked is if they could do their own icebreakers with us and if Carolyn and I would like to participate. I was floored. I went for it! Who wouldn’t?

After the game, I led the group through a reflection. Asked them to define “homeless.” The discussion ended up being more fruitful than I had hoped! The group could not come up with a definition. They realized that they didn’t know as much as they thought they knew and that even trying to define the word homeless is more difficult than it sounds. I let them journal and have free time for the rest of the night.

I woke up at 5:30am. The group was already up and rearing to go (that made me really excited). We had coffee, they did a morning reflection, and we left to go on the MAX downtown to eat at Blanchet House. Blanchet serves 3 meals a day, 6 days a week. It is one of the only places that serves food on Saturdays (there are a few more too). The food that Blanchet gets is pretty awesome, it is all either donated or they grow it. Blanchet serves an average of 250-350 plates of food each meal. Each meal lasts for 1 hour. Between 700 and 1,000 plates of food every day.

Blanchet also has a transitional housing program. The building has 25 apartments above the kitchen that is filled with men, 4 months at a time, who are trying to recover from drug or alcohol addictions and find stable housing or simply just trying to get their feet on solid ground. Those men work and sustain the kitchen. Here is what the building looks like:

the outside

the inside

The food is really good, especially when you realize that sometimes they serve 300+ plates in 1 hour. So, I brought the group here to eat with other folks. It hit them hard when they realized that hundreds of people flock from all over Portland and otherwise every single day, at early hours in the morning just to eat breakfast. And we even had bus tickets to get there, which is something that everyone cannot claim. They reflected upon it afterward and it was one of the more memorable parts of the immersion.

Afterward, we got a tour of the social services in Old Town. There are places where people can get clothes, meals, TB cards, free alcohol/drug treatment, more meals, more clothes, showers, free laundry service, shelter beds, bus passes, the works. It was immensely helpful for me to see all the social services also. The tour was led by a man named Larry who was previously homeless since his parents died when he was 5 years old. 11 years ago, JOIN housed him and he has been in permanent housing since. He decided that he needed to give back to JOIN, so he has been leading tours on the immersions since. I asked him if he was still interested in leading the tours when I just started out as the coordinator. His answer, “Are you kiddin?! I am going to do this till the day I die.” He is also a social activist. He always petitions and tries to get more women shelters and public bathrooms downtown. It was great experiencing the tour from someone who accesses those services. It also helps to break down some of those invisible barriers between people living on the streets and participants of the immersions.

After the tour, I had the group split up into groups of four or so. I gave each person 1 dollar and a sheet of scavenger hunt questions. Things like, “you are looking for a bed tonight but none of the shelters will let you in unless you have a TB card, where would you obtain one.” The scavenger hunt was intended to get the group to talk with people who are living on the streets and strike up conversations, and hopefully, to break down some misconceptions. They were to use their $1 for lunch. Most of them went back and ate at Blanchet House. Some went to the Union Gospel Mission and had lunch. Others combined their money and went to a store to buy something to share. One thing I thought was interesting. Everyone who didn’t use their dollar had full meals and were feeling very satisfied. The people who used their dollar at the store hardly ate anything. Four people shared an apple, a bag of chips, and an iced tea. It was a good discussion topic.

After the scavenger hunt, we went out to Dignity Village which is located right next to the State Correctional Facility, the airport, and a composting site. Dignity Village is a dwelling area that has been defined by the city for people who are homeless. They are not allowed to build “permanent” structures because then the village would have to be up to fire code. So all the people have constructed these shack structures.

We had a tour of the place and watched a video of its history. This place is fascinating. It is really far from downtown, but for some people, it is their only place to live. So, public transportation is a big deal for the folks living there.

There are about 60 people who live in the village. It was good for the group to see how a completely self-maintained community can be peaceful and successful.
Afterward, we came back to JOIN to have dinner with some of the homeless community. I invited a couple regulars who come to the house often. They came to be in conversation with the kids on the immersion and to share a meal. Meals tend to break down those invisible barriers and encourage free discussion among people. The night was great. The three folks told their stories over a spaghetti dinner and the young people said they were touched by the experience and by hearing what actual people have to go through on a day to day basis. Stories are powerful especially when they are full of pain and sorrow.

After dinner, we had a reflection and I asked them some questions to get them really thinking about what they saw. Altogether, it was a huge success. The leader of the group even did this extended affirmation circle where he listed the things that he loved about each person. It was really endearing!

Later, I got this email from the leader of the GodSong group:

Hey Joe,
Our group had such an amazing time. Thank you so much for the card. We had such a good time and the kids told so many people that I have had many come up to me wanting to do an immersion themselves. These would be all new people. You in for a round 2? Thanks good sir!
Blessings,
Marcus

I am happy to hear they want more!

-Joe Clark (Immersion Coordinator)

Rest in Peace Lordian Cross

By Colleen Sinsky

Last month one of our JOIN friends who had recently moved off the streets passed away after a long battle against chronic health problems. Lordian was a double-amputee who strongly valued independence and refused to cave into the difficult circumstances life had handed to him.

I wish I’d had the honor of having known Lordian years ago. While our lives only briefly shared an intersection I am so grateful for the time we did get to share.

I was introduced to Lordian by Lio, who had met him recently camped out under a bridge downtown. In all of the chaos and desperation that often accompanies homelessness, Lordian was a beacon of hope and calm. He was extremely well-spoken and well-read. I’d been working with him on getting a blog started, and he planned on going back to school to become a paralegal. He was actually supposed to have been the “guest blogger” here this week but instead I’ll share the impact Lordian had on me.

Lordian was one of those friends whom I felt genuinely happy when he name came up on my caller ID. His outlook on life and openness with his struggles and joys were insights that I always felt honored to share. The Friday before he passed away, I was at home, sick in bed and I gave Lordian a call. He was also sick in bed in his studio at the Bud Clark Commons, and dealing with pain that made my cold seem like nothing. We talked for half an hour- a rarity for me because I usually use any excuse to keep my phone conversations as brief as possible. But Lordian had a way of speaking that skipped over shallow chatting and got to issues of life that would open your heart and even restore a bit of your faith in the world. He was hopeful and loving, despite everything the world had thrown at him. He’d talk about the struggles his neighbors and friends were going through and how much he felt for them. At one point I asked him “How do you do it Lordian? How do you stay so optimistic with everything that you have to deal with?” His answer was along the lines of how impossible it is to compare any two persons’ struggles and how we all come equipped our own set of tools for dealing with life. He’d just learned to tap into his and was able to see the beauty beyond the pain.

The morning I stopped by Lordian’s apartment and was told he had died, I had been planning on telling him the good news that we’d received a grant that could help with his educational expenses in going back to school. Lio had just gotten him a pretty swanky electronic wheelchair to replace his broken manual one and Lordian was planning on starting a community Bible study for his neighbors in his building. His friendly nature and ability to reach out to others made an impact on the whole staff of his building. We’ll all remember Lordian Cross fondly, and I hope to learn from his example of resiliency and optimism.

Lordian was a big fan of poetry, especially from the Harlem Renaissance. Here’s one of his favorite poems that reads oddly appropriately now. (Courtesy of poets.org)

The Weary Blues
by Langston Hughes
Droning a drowsy syncopated tune, Rocking back and forth to a mellow croon, I heard a Negro play. Down on Lenox Avenue the other night By the pale dull pallor of an old gas light He did a lazy sway . . . He did a lazy sway . . . To the tune o' those Weary Blues. With his ebony hands on each ivory key He made that poor piano moan with melody. O Blues! Swaying to and fro on his rickety stool He played that sad raggy tune like a musical fool. Sweet Blues! Coming from a black man's soul. O Blues! In a deep song voice with a melancholy tone I heard that Negro sing, that old piano moan-- "Ain't got nobody in all this world, Ain't got nobody but ma self. I's gwine to quit ma frownin' And put ma troubles on the shelf." Thump, thump, thump, went his foot on the floor. He played a few chords then he sang some more-- "I got the Weary Blues And I can't be satisfied. Got the Weary Blues And can't be satisfied-- I ain't happy no mo' And I wish that I had died." And far into the night he crooned that tune. The stars went out and so did the moon. The singer stopped playing and went to bed While the Weary Blues echoed through his head. He slept like a rock or a man that's dead.

Not all rainbows and apartment keys...

By Colleen Sinsky

Most of what I get to do at JOIN is uplifting or fun or at least a new challenge- but occasionally it’s just plain depressing. (And no one told me to just blog about happy things.) Quick excerpt from my morning spent with one of our challenging fellows that exemplifies the emotions that I believe a lot of our folks are going through. I was frustrated that this guy who I’m trying to work with who was ..yet again.. drunk. We talked for a while and eventually accomplished what we were trying to get done today, after which my friend said “I’m sorry I’m so loaded, it’s just that if I’m not loaded I feel like killing myself, so I don’t have much of a choice. You don't understand.”

I can't think of anything to say to close this one out. He's right, I don't understand.